Hazel - the gentle wood of quiet knowing
Our dreams never sleep.
At the edge of the hundred-year-old forest of Oaks and Pines, they are lined up neatly in a row – eight, nine, ten – not quite trees, not quite shrubs. They are taller than me and have many trunks. Their male flowers have been preparing to pollinate their female blossoms for a few weeks. The female ones are still a bit shy and slow to develop. So are their leaves, which just appear in their tender buds.
They form the boundary between forest and meadow bog. The Hazels are the connection between worlds, between habitats. The forest behind them is dry, perhaps even too dry for this season. At first sight, the meadow in front of them also makes a very dry impression. The grass appears to be a wintery yellow. But the deep black ground is pleasantly damp and cool, as if it is waking up from the depths of hibernation.
It's the first time I'm seeking to communicate with Hazels, so I don't quite know how to do it and how, if at all, they will respond to me. Will one of them be willing to engage with me? What do I do if not? I am excited and somewhat timid. Many thoughts are running through my head. I hear a voice inside me that wants to tell me about performance anxiety. She doubts my choice and questions whether I'm in the right place.
It's loud in my head. Way too noisy to give and receive anything. And so I give myself time to arrive with all my senses because deep down, I know that my conversation with Hazel is anything but a matter of the mind.
I inhale and exhale deeply, activating one sense after another with each breath: it smells like springtime marsh. Oh, that fresh moisture in the air, I can almost taste it. The lemon-winged butterflies come flying past to greet me. One and then another, they dance in front of me as if they want to show me the way. The sun warms my skin, and I can hear the rustling of the dry winter leaves of the Oak trees in the forest.
As my senses awaken, I can feel that I am welcome. So I gathered my courage and went to the first Hazel bush to greet her and introduce both myself and my intention: “Hello, dear Hazel, I'm Kath. I'm visiting you to learn with and from you. Would you like to spend some time with me?”
She is silent in response.
I go to the next and the next, and they, too, respond with silence. Slight doubts arise in me again. The voice of performance anxiety in my head speaks up – cunningly and snippily, she says, “Well, you're probably not in the right place after all. Maybe you should try the Oak tree at the back. Remember, you want to deliver a story.”
No, I don't like the sound of this voice inside me. I want to shoo her away, but she is there and part of me, which is why I ask her with compassion and from the bottom of my heart to be patient. I take another pause to breathe, to arrive fully in myself and to open my senses and my heart even more.
I hear myself saying, “You can do this!” and “Dear Hazel bushes, please don't let me down.” With that, I move on to the next Hazel to introduce myself. The answer was silence again. Okay, there are two more ahead of me that I haven't said hello to yet.
At the next Hazel tree, the silence has a different quality. I sense a subtle, inviting warmth. She lets me know I'm in the right place and encourages me to greet the last Hazel.
As I reached the last tree, I could easily see why I had to meet her. I laughed with tears of relief because three hazelnuts were waiting for me on this last Hazel. I suddenly felt like I was in a fairy tale and didn't know what to feel or think first.
Yes, that thought of wanting to rub the nose of my fearful voice in it came to mind. But no, I don't want to have that relationship with myself (or others). Instead, I wonder why we have to take everything in life so damn seriously. How much delight and zest for life we take away from ourselves with seriousness saddens me.
And, of course, as a child of the GDR (former Communist Germany), I have to think of the Czech fairy tale “Three Hazelnuts for Cinderella”. An absolute classic that reminds us-all of Grimm's Cinderella (more information about the fairy tale on the Defa-Stiftung website – scroll down for an English description).
No, my story is not that of Cinderella. For which I am grateful because I never wanted to be a princess, and also I don't have a nasty stepmother and sister who torment me. Quite the opposite; I have an amazing family who love me more than anything and only want the best for me.
And yet, thanks to the three hazelnuts, I feel like I'm in a fairy tale. My very own fairy tale, that is. A fairy tale that I write and one that writes me and my life.
There is gratitude, curiosity, and anticipation in me for everything that awaits me in my communion with Hazel. And so I settled down under the tree bush to linger.
Very slowly, my thoughts and feelings come to rest.
Having arrived in the silence, I once again felt the warm, inviting frequency that I had felt before. The voice of Hazel is wordless and yet full of messages!
She speaks with a frequency that I have never experienced outside of my own body. A frequency that I only know from deep within me, and even here this soothing, knowing feeling is sometimes forgotten. This voice inside me, like that of Hazel, is very soft and quiet, yet full of conviction, knowing, and deep truth. She does not push herself to the forefront but speaks with gentleness directly from the sacred well of my inner beauty. She is the voice of my intuition.
Yes, Hazel speaks to me with the same frequency as my intuition.
I doze off in resonance and gratitude. Forgetting everything around me, “Trust me!” are the last vibrations I remember as I stepped through the gate that Hazel opened for me into an enchanting dream world.
Cozy warmth. Playful beauty. Omnipresent care. Everything was full of simplicity in this dream world. I was the salmon, swimming upstream, feasting on hazelnuts along the way, bubbling a hearty thank you to the otter as he already had breakfast and so I could travel with the ladybug for a while. We both enjoyed the spots on our bodies and admired our talents in swimming and flying. We are one with our Umwelt.
When I opened my eyes again to this world, I was greeted by the flying Milan painting an invisible spiral high up in the blue sky above me. Back to my senses, an immeasurable appreciation for the richness of life flowed through my whole body. With these energies, I knew that nothing else matters more than life and love.
Even my fear voice was able to experience what it means to trust all my senses and my heart. And so she too became lighter in frequency and gave spaciousness to my mind to love life even more.
Grateful, with an open heart and mind, I left the Hazel bushes, which now were all glowing with soothing warmth.
I know that I could only have this experience because I was able to accept the seriousness and heaviness of my fearful voice. Even more so, embrace her with grace and see her for what she is: a learned mode of protection.
Our dreams are not something out there in the external world. They are part of ourselves. They flow through the depths of our inner world – day and night. Our dreams never sleep. To experience the small and the big ones in all their beauty, we need to be willing to open our senses and hearts.
With her gentle quietness, Hazel can help us find our way into this openness.
Come, let us live.
Come, let us love.
Hearted on the lands I was born to, called Märkisch-Oderland - 50 km East of the river Spree and some 30 km West of the river Oder. I grew up and now live again on the edge of the magnificent Nature Park Märkische Schweiz. I pay respect to my ancestors and the elders of the lands and waterways. I honour past, present and future.
Ahhhh, hazel: such sweetness in her nut, such laughter in her dancing catkins, such gentleness in her presence. As a young child, I was given a hazel branch by a divining friend of my parents. Without exerting any apparent force on me, she unerringly led me to water. Befriend hazel and know you have gained direct connection to source.
Hearing and reading this feels like a blessing for my soul and an invitation to go deeper into my own heart/love/body 💜 thank you so much for sharing dear Kath 💚 and dear Hazel 🌳 🌰